Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A Modern Day Church - Pt. 2
In some ways, this is a continuation of my previous post "A Modern Day Church" dated Friday, October 15, 2010
Someone prompted me to share my views on the LDS Church's view of same-gender attraction. I figured I would repost my response here just so I had it for my own records (it was a facebook comment).
First, his comment:
I respect that you have an opposing viewpoint, and appreciate the why, its just that currently the conclusions that the church has come to are having a VERY negative effect on LGBT's perceived self value and causing permanent damage to ...their self esteem and a huge strain on their social life and many of them are turning to suicide as their only option, and I find that to be terrible.
I don't see this as a Church standing against societal pressure. I see this as a Church being stubborn when a SERIOUS problem is plaguing the people when their methods and dogma are having terrible results.
Your first paragraph is basically saying: Despite the fact that the results continue to be so negative, the Prophets know what they are talking about and you should follow them anyways blindly.
But yet when Prophets have made mistakes in the past, we are then told, "Oh, well in that instance they were just acting as men" Which is a cop out. Why do you expect us to sustain a Prophet in everything they say, when later we can find out that they DO have human flaws? Couldn't this be one of those times that they are wrong because they are human?
Brigham Young said that black people WOULD NEVER hold the priesthood, and that if they did it would be the end of the church. Now obviously it is clear that this was wrong. But they could have just as easily demanded that everyone sustain him at the time, because he's the prophet.
Interestingly you should know that the Church actually made edits to Packers talk after he gave it, and before publishing it on the Internet and Ensigns. This shows you that even currently the Church is aware that its apostles, in this case Packer, are capable of making mistakes. And we are just supposed to sustain them no matter what?
All I'm saying is that I strongly feel that the Church is wrong on this issue, and causing permanent damage, and sorry if I'm not willing to just sustain a person despite witnessing the destruction what they say is causing. I attend weekly meetings held on campus where many openly gay Mormons discuss how they feel about the issue, and its really clear that there is a problem, and the problem ISN'T that they just want to get away with sin. I have attended lectures demonstrating some pretty definitive and backed up scientific evidence that this is something that they are born with, and cannot be "cured". And I have seen the terrifying statistics of youth suicide that are a direct result of the current attitude towards homosexuality.
Anyways, I AM getting really preachy now, and am making some big claims. But yeah, just trying to let you know where I'm coming from. And basically that guy's blog fails to answer all of my questions, and I'm not going to sustain ANYTHING until my questions are sufficiently answered.
"We are to stand by our convictions without forcing them upon others." - Well I strongly felt that the Church's influence on Prop 8 was in fact, forcing their convictions on others.
You have the right to believe how you believe, the only reason I speak out against it is because of what I just mentioned about forcing your convictions on others, and the damage I have personally witnessed it causing to others. That I can't abide.
My Response
I want to respond with a few clarifying points:
1. I really do value your opinion. I Do. I think there is a sense of homophobia running rampant throughout the Church membership. And it MUST stop. It has caused far too much harm. By becoming more educated and understanding of others, we can reverse that trend that sends so many with same gender attraction into a depressed inactive state, usually resulting in leaving the Church.
2. All GAs edit their talks a week after conference. Because their talks go on to publishing in Church magazines and for use by the media and most importantly, the members.
3. No, prophets are not perfect. They are human beings with human minds prone to error. BUT, they have been given authority and inspiration from Jesus Christ through their ordination to that calling. That is my belief and testimony.
In regards to Declaration 2 (Blacks gaining the priesthood), it states:
"As we have witnessed the expansion of the work of the Lord over the earth, we have been grateful that people of many nations have responded to the message of the restored gospel, and have joined the Church in ever-increasing numbers. This, in turn, has inspired us with a desire to extend to every worthy member of the Church all of the privileges and blessings, which the gospel affords."
The key point to be made lies within "This, in turn, has inspired us with a desire". The inspiration mentioned was collectively felt by all members of the 12 and First Presidency. They saw a doctrinal issue and all collectively felt inspired to clarify it. The same idea needs to be applied to the idea of same-gender attraction. If the brethren sought inspiration from the Lord, which they have made evident to us, I will listen to their counsel. That's the organization of this Church and the way Heavenly Father communicates with us.
Nothing in the Church can be ratified without the collective approval of all of the 12. If an issue is still at odds, it will not be pushed through in any form. I'm assuming Declaration 2 had its debut in one of the meetings the 12 and First Presidency has each Thursday morning on the 4th floor of The SLC Temple where they discuss doctrine and at times, revelation. And so it is my belief, through this Church and it's organization, that these principles are completely and 100 percent inspired revelation.
Who are we to say how the Lord wishes to carry out his Church?
If we follow Heavenly Father's counsel, we will be blessed:
"Let your soul be at rest concerning your spiritual standing, and resist no more my voice." (DC 108: 2)
The doctrine of marriage and chastity always has been. It has been in the books since the beginning of this Church. The stance the Church takes is nothing new, no succumbing to modern trends or pressures. The Proclamation of the Family merely restated things.
Finally, I just want to say that I don't come here to argue. I don't think arguing is productive in any way. And I don't feel like we have in any way. I've appreciated your well-thought out points and I'm glad that we're able to discuss these things the way we do. All too often, I see people on both sides of the fence shouting at each other. It's ridiculous and it hurts everyone involved. If we learned to be more accepting of all of our brothers and sisters, we would be that much closer to Christ.
Before I converted to the Church, I was involved in the Gay Rights movement. I marched on DC, I ran a campus organization...so this issue was absolutely critical to me when I made the decision to join the Church. But as I saw myself turning from my previous views that cast the Church as the enemy and started to pray and embrace the Gospel, I had my spiritual confirmation that I was joining Christ's Church on earth. It was hard, and still is hard.
I have gay friends who are members of the Church (and those who are not) and I respect them. I may align with the Church, but this does not mean I look down on them in any way. I love them and wish them the best in their own personal faith. More importantly, Heavenly Father does the same, but with a love that is incomprehensible.
Someone prompted me to share my views on the LDS Church's view of same-gender attraction. I figured I would repost my response here just so I had it for my own records (it was a facebook comment).
First, his comment:
I respect that you have an opposing viewpoint, and appreciate the why, its just that currently the conclusions that the church has come to are having a VERY negative effect on LGBT's perceived self value and causing permanent damage to ...their self esteem and a huge strain on their social life and many of them are turning to suicide as their only option, and I find that to be terrible.
I don't see this as a Church standing against societal pressure. I see this as a Church being stubborn when a SERIOUS problem is plaguing the people when their methods and dogma are having terrible results.
Your first paragraph is basically saying: Despite the fact that the results continue to be so negative, the Prophets know what they are talking about and you should follow them anyways blindly.
But yet when Prophets have made mistakes in the past, we are then told, "Oh, well in that instance they were just acting as men" Which is a cop out. Why do you expect us to sustain a Prophet in everything they say, when later we can find out that they DO have human flaws? Couldn't this be one of those times that they are wrong because they are human?
Brigham Young said that black people WOULD NEVER hold the priesthood, and that if they did it would be the end of the church. Now obviously it is clear that this was wrong. But they could have just as easily demanded that everyone sustain him at the time, because he's the prophet.
Interestingly you should know that the Church actually made edits to Packers talk after he gave it, and before publishing it on the Internet and Ensigns. This shows you that even currently the Church is aware that its apostles, in this case Packer, are capable of making mistakes. And we are just supposed to sustain them no matter what?
All I'm saying is that I strongly feel that the Church is wrong on this issue, and causing permanent damage, and sorry if I'm not willing to just sustain a person despite witnessing the destruction what they say is causing. I attend weekly meetings held on campus where many openly gay Mormons discuss how they feel about the issue, and its really clear that there is a problem, and the problem ISN'T that they just want to get away with sin. I have attended lectures demonstrating some pretty definitive and backed up scientific evidence that this is something that they are born with, and cannot be "cured". And I have seen the terrifying statistics of youth suicide that are a direct result of the current attitude towards homosexuality.
Anyways, I AM getting really preachy now, and am making some big claims. But yeah, just trying to let you know where I'm coming from. And basically that guy's blog fails to answer all of my questions, and I'm not going to sustain ANYTHING until my questions are sufficiently answered.
"We are to stand by our convictions without forcing them upon others." - Well I strongly felt that the Church's influence on Prop 8 was in fact, forcing their convictions on others.
You have the right to believe how you believe, the only reason I speak out against it is because of what I just mentioned about forcing your convictions on others, and the damage I have personally witnessed it causing to others. That I can't abide.
My Response
I want to respond with a few clarifying points:
1. I really do value your opinion. I Do. I think there is a sense of homophobia running rampant throughout the Church membership. And it MUST stop. It has caused far too much harm. By becoming more educated and understanding of others, we can reverse that trend that sends so many with same gender attraction into a depressed inactive state, usually resulting in leaving the Church.
2. All GAs edit their talks a week after conference. Because their talks go on to publishing in Church magazines and for use by the media and most importantly, the members.
3. No, prophets are not perfect. They are human beings with human minds prone to error. BUT, they have been given authority and inspiration from Jesus Christ through their ordination to that calling. That is my belief and testimony.
In regards to Declaration 2 (Blacks gaining the priesthood), it states:
"As we have witnessed the expansion of the work of the Lord over the earth, we have been grateful that people of many nations have responded to the message of the restored gospel, and have joined the Church in ever-increasing numbers. This, in turn, has inspired us with a desire to extend to every worthy member of the Church all of the privileges and blessings, which the gospel affords."
The key point to be made lies within "This, in turn, has inspired us with a desire". The inspiration mentioned was collectively felt by all members of the 12 and First Presidency. They saw a doctrinal issue and all collectively felt inspired to clarify it. The same idea needs to be applied to the idea of same-gender attraction. If the brethren sought inspiration from the Lord, which they have made evident to us, I will listen to their counsel. That's the organization of this Church and the way Heavenly Father communicates with us.
Nothing in the Church can be ratified without the collective approval of all of the 12. If an issue is still at odds, it will not be pushed through in any form. I'm assuming Declaration 2 had its debut in one of the meetings the 12 and First Presidency has each Thursday morning on the 4th floor of The SLC Temple where they discuss doctrine and at times, revelation. And so it is my belief, through this Church and it's organization, that these principles are completely and 100 percent inspired revelation.
Who are we to say how the Lord wishes to carry out his Church?
If we follow Heavenly Father's counsel, we will be blessed:
"Let your soul be at rest concerning your spiritual standing, and resist no more my voice." (DC 108: 2)
The doctrine of marriage and chastity always has been. It has been in the books since the beginning of this Church. The stance the Church takes is nothing new, no succumbing to modern trends or pressures. The Proclamation of the Family merely restated things.
Finally, I just want to say that I don't come here to argue. I don't think arguing is productive in any way. And I don't feel like we have in any way. I've appreciated your well-thought out points and I'm glad that we're able to discuss these things the way we do. All too often, I see people on both sides of the fence shouting at each other. It's ridiculous and it hurts everyone involved. If we learned to be more accepting of all of our brothers and sisters, we would be that much closer to Christ.
Before I converted to the Church, I was involved in the Gay Rights movement. I marched on DC, I ran a campus organization...so this issue was absolutely critical to me when I made the decision to join the Church. But as I saw myself turning from my previous views that cast the Church as the enemy and started to pray and embrace the Gospel, I had my spiritual confirmation that I was joining Christ's Church on earth. It was hard, and still is hard.
I have gay friends who are members of the Church (and those who are not) and I respect them. I may align with the Church, but this does not mean I look down on them in any way. I love them and wish them the best in their own personal faith. More importantly, Heavenly Father does the same, but with a love that is incomprehensible.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Revival
I've been very introspective lately. I found myself going back through old writings and old blog posts, combing through past thoughts and feelings.
What I've seen most are the short film ideas I had written down at work. I read through them now for the first time since they flowed from my excited fingers a year or two ago. They are all quite revealing of my intentions, my passions, and the unrequited love I happened to be involved in at the time. I wanted to live vicariously through the characters I spoke of. I wanted love, security, and faith. The characters were always looking for something more...something that they could never find. They all get thrown into formidable situations beyond their control. And rather than thrive, they get sucked under. Some of them have luck in the end, but it's always by chance, and it's always unsuspecting.
I came across one unpublished post (draft) from January 2009 that simply states:
"This past Thanksgiving and Christmas marked the first times I realized I was an adult."
I remember that Christmas. I had a lot on my mind. I remember getting drunk a few days before leaving home for the Holidays. I was becoming a regular drinker (nothing crazy). Though in high school, I was a staunch opponent of even going to the parties where cheap beer flowed like water. I had a crush on a girl who I knew I would get eventually. I wanted to have a serious committed relationship with her...and I thought my chances were good (it fizzled out after nothing more than a kiss or two). I started to recognize the world around me as being endless with possibility. I could do anything. All throughout the break I told myself I was formally becoming initiated as an "adult" into this world. It was strange to come back into my previous life so soon after I had made these realizations within.
There is another one from March of this year:
"I know it's standard to be uncertain about your future in college. I get that.
But I just worry"
I still catch this thought every so often. But not nearly in the way I used to. Moving out to Utah was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I know my direction now. I have a tentative career path in a field where I'm not compromising my passions. I no longer want to make films for a living...but it's been replaced with something far more reaching into the depths of my appetite for life: helping others directly (cliche? yes. something I've found complete passion for? also, yes).
I feel like I have a taste of what I've always wanted. I have a faith that means everything to me, an understanding of my place in the universe, and a girl that I love. I'm not completely fulfilled because then I'd have no reason to continue living on earth. But for the first time ever, I'm not afraid to look at my prospective future. And I don't miss drinking either...
there's a waning moment in time
when the people slow down
the sun sets over the lake
my lungs breath in the cold air
and I know I'm alive
a wise man once said,
Dear God I see you move the mountains
Dear God I see you moving trees
Sometimes it’s nothing to believe in
Sometimes it’s everything I see
Monday, November 29, 2010
Zoe
Every so often, I feel like I should write something in here. But I always end up writing it in my notebook instead.
It's strange, really. It used to be that I couldn't bring myself to write anything unless it was on my blog. I liked knowing that people read what I wrote...even if it was only a few friends. And I still like that feeling. But these past few months, I've found myself meticulously recording every notable raw thought that comes to my mind. I'm writing more now than I ever have before. I've accumulated 3 notebooks (and 1 small pocket-size book) which are filled cover to cover with insights and messy bus handwriting emotion. At the rate I'm going, I'll be consuming four 192 page notebooks per year.
I like that idea. I like knowing that I'll have a bookcase shelf solely devoted to my raw thoughts. It's something I look forward to sharing with my future kids. Every so often, I find myself paging back, examining the changes I've made and the opinions I had. It's a humbling, tender moment. And each time, I see the way God has worked in my life...in miraculous ways. I've seen prayers answered and truths restored. I've seen those moments of complete peace and those moments of confusion and anxiety.
To look back in this fashion is to move forward. Each new entry I make is a building block to becoming the person I strive to be.
Dated 7/9/2009:
"I'm so thankful for the many things I've picked up from exploring a small portion of the Mormon faith...I just want to continue with this 'uncertain' faith journey. I feel like the small euphoria I felt when exploring the Mormon faith was only because of the roadtrip and hanging out with Alex, speaking of faith, etc."
It wasn't just the roadtrip.
I've found more truth and beauty than I ever could have imagined in the months following. And somehow, I continue to build upon this notion even more each day. That warm whisper of the conviction of my faith rises with me each morning. Somehow, I can read the same scriptures over and over and yet I still find new truths.
I'm not a religious zealot. I haven't been brainwashed.
In those months leading up to my conversion, I asked, over and over again if this was true. And I stand here today not having to ask anymore. I know that it is. I can't even begin to put that conviction into words. But when I kneel each night, I know Someone is listening. When I smile I know Someone else is smiling. When I see the beauty of this earth, I know the hands that sculpted its majesty.
And so this leads me to the ultimate point I'm trying to make...Write. Pick up the pen and paper, the word document or blog entry...
There are so many things I'm thankful for: my Heavenly Father, my family, my Natalie, and my words. I look back and see all of the ways I've been blessed throughout these tattered notebooks.
But what I see the most is God's love for us all.
It's strange, really. It used to be that I couldn't bring myself to write anything unless it was on my blog. I liked knowing that people read what I wrote...even if it was only a few friends. And I still like that feeling. But these past few months, I've found myself meticulously recording every notable raw thought that comes to my mind. I'm writing more now than I ever have before. I've accumulated 3 notebooks (and 1 small pocket-size book) which are filled cover to cover with insights and messy bus handwriting emotion. At the rate I'm going, I'll be consuming four 192 page notebooks per year.
I like that idea. I like knowing that I'll have a bookcase shelf solely devoted to my raw thoughts. It's something I look forward to sharing with my future kids. Every so often, I find myself paging back, examining the changes I've made and the opinions I had. It's a humbling, tender moment. And each time, I see the way God has worked in my life...in miraculous ways. I've seen prayers answered and truths restored. I've seen those moments of complete peace and those moments of confusion and anxiety.
To look back in this fashion is to move forward. Each new entry I make is a building block to becoming the person I strive to be.
Dated 7/9/2009:
"I'm so thankful for the many things I've picked up from exploring a small portion of the Mormon faith...I just want to continue with this 'uncertain' faith journey. I feel like the small euphoria I felt when exploring the Mormon faith was only because of the roadtrip and hanging out with Alex, speaking of faith, etc."
It wasn't just the roadtrip.
I've found more truth and beauty than I ever could have imagined in the months following. And somehow, I continue to build upon this notion even more each day. That warm whisper of the conviction of my faith rises with me each morning. Somehow, I can read the same scriptures over and over and yet I still find new truths.
I'm not a religious zealot. I haven't been brainwashed.
In those months leading up to my conversion, I asked, over and over again if this was true. And I stand here today not having to ask anymore. I know that it is. I can't even begin to put that conviction into words. But when I kneel each night, I know Someone is listening. When I smile I know Someone else is smiling. When I see the beauty of this earth, I know the hands that sculpted its majesty.
And so this leads me to the ultimate point I'm trying to make...Write. Pick up the pen and paper, the word document or blog entry...
There are so many things I'm thankful for: my Heavenly Father, my family, my Natalie, and my words. I look back and see all of the ways I've been blessed throughout these tattered notebooks.
But what I see the most is God's love for us all.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Stardust
Do you ever have those days when you’re just numb to everything?
Those days are a conundrum of human existence.
It’s those days when nothing seems to please your human senses. No person, no taste, no sound, no music can seem to pull you permanently out of your lack of inspiration.
I’m never content with just reasoning that I’m “in a bad mood”.
I must dissect potential causes in my head over the span of many hours. I wallow. I look for that opportunity to pull myself up, that leverage from the rut.
And then, just as I’m winding myself up for further disappointment, I stop…
And its as if my mind leaps out my brain and into the sky. I breathe. This barred mindset is suddenly under foot and I’m free of all uninspired thinking.
And I hear Sinatra playing from the bottom of a deep well in my soul.
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