Friday, February 26, 2010

Come on de da da da

I need to get out of here, man.

I feel like I'm in a constant limbo. I'm stuck between two thoughts. And I won't be making a decision anytime soon.
I find the beauty in all things, but it doesn't last outside the moment. But I'm still so grateful for that.

I'm in need of a shift in personality, some new force pushing into my deflated old mind. I'm not sure what has brought about this change. It's not exactly bad, but it's not good either. I'm sitting and watching the interaction between my fellow human beings, and internalizing none of it. I'm HAL and my hollow glass eye is switching back and forth between moving lips and unheard words.

I've been walking through hallways and feeling the texture of the paint on the wall against my dry hands. The limbo is clouding my mind, but my heart is secretly rejoicing. Sometimes, I wish my mind and my heart would get together and talk.

The first thought to travel up from my heart to my brain neurons is that "this too shall pass". And I honestly believe that. But when?
Until then, I will obey blindly to God's will. Praying to know that everything is in the hands of Love personified. Praying for guidance. And it has come, in small doses. May my heart not harden.
It won't.

As long as this exists in the world, I can be happy. Seriously, I mean that. This is like instant gratification to me, hah. Music is so beautiful.

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