Saturday, December 12, 2009

7:48 AM

I was up before my alarm, my eyes half-open slits that focused on nothing in particular. I pulled the blankets closer to my chin and anxiously awaited the clamorous pulsing when the clock hits 8.

7:49 AM

I traced my eyes along the chipped walls of the room. The blackout curtain swayed a bit with the steady breeze from the window that would not close completely. The daylight crept through the ends it didn't quite cover, the light dancing on the ceiling. I watched the dance for quite some time, my mind blank, eyes flickering back and forth capturing the intricate designs of the shadows and the ballet of the sun rays. Thoughts detached from my dreamlike state suddenly passed through my mind at a slow but steady pace. Reality.
Something I wasn't prepared to face before the alarm sounded. I unwillingly gave my thoughts over to its seductive powers:
7:55 AM
How are you going to make thisworkout. You really need to startonthatproject. Howmuchlonger are you going to putitoff. Ifitsmeanttohappenitwillhappenthingswillworkoutyouonlyhavea
fewmoredaystogetalythatgameshewantedyouneedto
emailjenniferaboutintegrativestudiesifitsmeantto
happenitwillhappen.
7:57 AM
I clamp my eyes closed and try to block the thoughts out...
7:58 AM
Don'tseemsoneedyitdbenicetomakeashortwithalainanandalywhen
yourehomewhenareyougoinghomeshessuchabeautifulsoulandsolovelyand
genuineineedtofinishthetakehomeexambeforemondayandthenturnitin
rememberhesaidtodoitbyemail

7:somethingitscloseyouneedtogetupearlieryouregetting
toclassalittlelateeachdayijustlikebeingaroundherthisblanketistoobigand

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP


I throw the covers off and promptly turn the alarm off. I bring my hands to my face and push my fingers through my hair. Slumped forward, I sit, my mind a swirl of thoughts. The illumination slowly catches the furthest corner of my eye and look up to see a strobe of sun rays flickering against my curtain. The light flickers constantly, the ballet on my ceiling now replaced with a fast-paced mambo.
I jump out of bed and slowly pull the curtain away from the window. A burst of light blinds me momentarily and slowly a beautiful site comes into focus.

Hundreds of birds float past my window. The masses created an intricate filter for the sun to pass through. The light flickered against my unflinching eyes. The flow never ceased, there seemed to be an infinite amount of these birds. All thought was lost and I stood still. And suddenly they were gone. I was struck by the beauty of the moment. I opened the window and let the cold winter air touch my face. My body and mind were still and I was able to think clearly. I thanked God for the moment. Reassurance flooded my heart.

8:04 AM

1 comment:

Kirsten Huth said...

This is beautiful, it makes me determined to become a morning person.
ahh Tomorrow I have prayer room at 6:00 a.m. I am not going to despise the earliness...maybe then I'll see the flock of birds that grumpiness blinds me to :D
love you dear friend!