If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son...

I've always loved that scene from eternal sunshine when Joel is in the diner.
"Why do I fall in love with every woman I see that shows me the least bit of attention?
If only I could meet someone new. I guess my chances of that happening are somewhat diminished, seeing that I'm incapable of making eye contact with a woman I don't know."

It just captures so much of who he is, and I feel like I can relate so much. I've had that exact experience. Any girl that takes notice of me is a potential love interest. Most of the time I screw it up somehow. See, I'm a very fickle person in that department. Every once and a while, one of those girls who takes notice of me actually starts to develop feelings for me. Then I get a little scared and distance myself, I become more critical, telling myself that they're not my type.
Part of me wishes I could just get into relationships like normal people do. But then again, since I'm so particular, maybe that means I'll know the instant I meet someone who perfectly fits the mold.

The one relationship I always go back to was my first. Sophomore year with Emily Culp. It was the most fulfilling relationship I've ever been in. I wouldn't say it was love, but it was one instance when I just clicked with someone. I spend my days now trying to replicate that feeling.
I'm not still interested in Emily Culp, it's just that relationship that I try to recreate.
I am obviously no relationship expert so I'm not sure if this is healthy or not, but I always look for girls that make up for my shortfalls. Someone who I can create a balance with. Someone who fits this one sided puzzle piece.

Plants and Animals is great background music for writing. I really like their sound. It's so refreshing to write so openly like this. I have been putting off homework for the entirety of the day so when I get bored with browsing the internet or watching tv, I resort to writing. I like this. I feel like I can breathe easier.