Sunday, March 15, 2009


-short summations of thoughts and ideas I wrote over spring break in Chicago-

There's this respite between starting point and destination. I'm unable to make substantial thoughts because of the displacement of not being locked down to one location.
It's freeing.
There are no good thoughts or bad thoughts.
There is only the now. The sights and sounds unfolding before my eyes.

I have thoughts of her but they are fleeting. I feel like in leaving her behind, she will remain frozen in time. Not time will pass, no doubts about me will cross her mind. When I return, we'll pick up where we left off. It's uneasy, yet pacifying.

I lay here awake, staring out the wall-sized window at the overcast Chicago skyline. A constant flow of cool air grazes the parts of my skin not covered by the blanket.
My friends are sprawled across the floor below the couch. One of them stirs, looking out into the same overcast melancholy. We meet eyes and relate a similar feeling of contention as he falls back asleep.
Sharing moments like these is yet another reminder of our humanity. It's a moment I'm sure he won't remember, but it was an intimacy I retained as I too slowly drifted back to sleep.

Chicago is a place, like any other place. Its roads are paved with the same asphalt, its buildings built with the same bricks, its wind blowing just as fierce as the next towns. But its people are different. They exude this association with the place. They are walking to a destination.
They are living out their dreams.

I'm complacent in waiting for her.
God help the dreamers.


Manda1012 said...

This was beautiful. I love your perception of everything.

Keep it up. You never cease to intrigue the minds of your readers :D kudos to the Austin.

Austin said...

thanks amanda!

redneckzilla said...

You have a girl you're waiting on huh? Or just lady luck? Opportunity almost always comes in the form of a woman. The opportunity to love, to grow, to fight, to destruct.

You're growing up a lot this year. it's kind of crazy to watch. Not like a weirdo father-figure type. I'm not being patronizing. But I have noticed how much you've changed. Your confidence in things. I miss you broseph. Excited to see you soon.

Kirsten Huth said...

I remember how you talked about Chicago! It's your favorite :]]! I hope to go there one day, and when I do I will take a picture of my feet and think about you the whole time!!

I like what you said about the freeing feeling of moving towards a destination...your mind is beautiful, Austin!